November, eh?..
Many people solely look upon it as an awkward month wedged between October and December, but it holds a special place in my heart. To me, it’s quite nostalgic, and so painfully bitter. I’m reminded of family, whom I’ve grown somewhat distant from. Excitement of being out of school, from which I’ve now graduated. At times, I wonder if feelings such as those will ever return. Days and months have been ripping past me like nothing, and I only get older and older. How much longer until it’s gone forever? Thoughts like that shoot most people into action. Yet, I somehow find myself curling up into a sad little ball that can’t change a thing.
It’s much too comfortable being miserable. I know this far too well. It’s been about a month since I’ve left the house. I was supposed to get a job, to find normal living like everybody else. I’m terrified to be honest. I don’t feel ready. Responsible adults don’t lock themselves in their room because they’re petrified of the outside world. I barely talk to family, let alone strangers. I’ve always had communication issues, and I have a tendency to become very emotionally distant at times. I want to apologize to everyone I’ve upset with my habits- especially lately. It’s not you, please remember that. If you want to talk, please don’t be afraid to leave me a message.
Yucky feelings aside, I’m sure some of you have been wanting project updates from me. Terrafunk is coming along, right now the only thing left before the first minor release is song touch-ups. Don’t expect the first release to be big, because it won’t be. As for commissions… I feel awful. My ADHD isn’t letting me finish them on time, and my being a perfectionist isn’t helping. It’s only Minecraft skins, and I’m worried I won’t be able to take regular full commissions if a couple pixels cause me to haywire. If I do open regular commissions, all I can ask for is for your patience.
Thank you for reading, and I hope you all have an amazing Thanksgiving this year! This is the first time I’ve written an update like this, so feedback would be appreciated! Maybe I’ll make this a regular thing, who knows? It’d be nice to give a few life & project updates here and there instead of simply leaving you guys in the dark. It might be a good way to reflect on my own feelings, too. Either way, take care y’all! ❤️💕
- River
<- me irl btw